school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
