When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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