wat bout pragnant strippers??
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
