Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
