May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
