i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
