We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Cover your peen. We're going out.
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