She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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