it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I'm passing your future prison.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
