Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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