Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
