I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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