first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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