Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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