Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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