you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
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i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
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C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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