he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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