if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
