its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize