Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
