Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
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