before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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