Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
