i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Sext me about skeletons
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
