i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
