If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
His hands were made for my vagina.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
