matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you win again, gameday.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
