two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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