I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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