don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
