Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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