i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I touched a dick in church today
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
