I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
