Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
