I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
