is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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