You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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