And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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