do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
