I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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