as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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