Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
