dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
