Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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