after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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