This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
