Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize