Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
