Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Say something about gay babies.
We need to rekindle our bromance
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
