I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
