She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
