Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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