Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
