Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
