Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
