I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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