Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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