Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
He literally asked permission to hit on me
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
