I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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