I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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